How and why should we give?

I want to have a giving heart.

My word for this year is “heart,” and this month my emphasis is a giving heart.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I want to have a giving heart. But what does that mean?

 Does that mean that I should give everything and leave myself with nothing? Should I give, no matter how I feel about it? And why give?

Plenty of needs arise in this sinful world. We can’t accommodate all of them. So how do we know what to do?

God tells us HOW to give.

How should we give?

So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver. ~2 Corinthians 9:7 (NKJV)

I also like the wording in the ESV.

Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.

According to the heart

Give as you decide (or purpose) in your heart. 

There are times, places, and needs that arise that put giving on our hearts. When we feel that desire and pull on our hearts, it is appropriate to give.

Giving is something we tend to feel strongly about. Is there a reason to give? A friend in need? A need at the church? Tithe? A birthday or other special occasion?

Friends, family, and church members provide opportunities to give. We give gifts for birthdays because we care about the person we are giving to. 

At work, we had a student lose his father. We put a gift basket together for his mother. I missed the window to add to the gift basket. But I care about her and the student, so I gave her a separate gift that I thought might be comforting.

There’s a lot of sin and sadness in the world, and giving brings light into the darkness.

God puts it on our hearts if and how he wants us to give.

What is your heart telling you to do? Decide according to your heart.

Not grudgingly

Do not give grudgingly. You should not give if you feel reluctant to do so.

What if I told my boss I would give to the parent, but I wasn’t happy about it? What if I told the mom, I really can’t afford it, but I’ll give you this. What if I asked my coworkers, “Why can’t they just give something, say it’s from all of us, and not put us through this hassle”? 

Most of us would never say any of that, because it makes people feel bad. If you don’t want to give, don’t. Some people already feel bad that they have to ask for help. They don’t want to feel worse because you don’t want to give to them. Some would rather not have anything from you if you are negative about it, even if they need it.

Imagine you’re the receiver. You have a need. What if you found out that the gifts you got were given grudgingly? Imagine knowing that the person who gave you a gift told someone, “I didn’t want to give this.” “I couldn’t afford this.” “This was a hassle for me to do.” How would you feel?

Don’t give with reluctance. Give according to the purpose and desire of your heart.

Not under compulsion

Do not give due to compulsion. You should not give because you feel guilted into giving.

Have you ever felt compelled to give? 

Some churches push the tithe. The church needs the tithe, and it’s an established precedent to give 10% of what you earn. But there’s no command in the Bible that says you have to.

Some churches also push giving to missions or ministries. You should not feel compelled to do either, because a bad attitude makes you and those around you feel bad. You do not want to enter a ministry with a bad attitude.

I joked with someone one Sunday that I “had to teach kids,” and they said, “don’t you get to teach kids”? A bad attitude toward the ministry looks bad to the people you’re working with. Also, if I seriously didn’t want to teach, the kids would know, and it would be a disaster.

We should not feel compelled to give because we are being forced to.

Anytime someone says you need to do this, people tend to cringe. “How do you know what I need to do? I control my life.” “Don’t tell me what to do with my money.” Or “Don’t tell me what to do with my life.”

Imagine you are a person who has received a gift, and you find out the person was forced to give it to you. How would you feel?

If you feel compelled to give, it should be your heart compelling you because God has laid it on your heart, and you decide that’s what you want to do.

Give because you want to, not because you are compelled to.

Cheerfully

Give cheerfully. “God loves a cheerful giver.”

Not only should we give because we decide we want to, but we should give cheerfully. Giving should be something we feel good about and are excited to do. For that reason, we should have a positive attitude when we give.

We give from our heart, because we want to. We don’t give grudgingly. We don’t give because we’re forced. We are happy because we know we are doing something that will help someone else. It will make a difference. It will make someone smile.

If you are the one deciding in your heart how you want to give, it should be something you are cheerful about. 

Why do we give?

For it is in giving that we receive. ~Francis of Assisi

Give to receive

When we give to others, we receive a gift in return. Joy comes from watching how the gift is received, and that joy is our gift. 

When others receive our gift, their emotional reaction — a smile, tears of joy, or relief — shows on their faces and through their body language that we have blessed them, and that is our gift. 

The joy we receive is WHY we give. That is why we do NOT give grudgingly or out of compulsion. There should be joy in it. And we are cheerful because we know that it will be received well if we give from our heart.

Just recently, I realized the Lord wanted me to give more to our children’s ministry. The Lord has gifted me with the ability and experience to teach kids. I surrendered to His will and the reluctance I had to commit more time and energy was gone as I realized that my time and talent are already His. As I give more, I will receive more, and that allows me to give cheerfully. What I do with the children will make a difference in their lives, their parents’ lives, and in our church.

This Sunday I volunteered to sub as a Sunday pre-school teacher. I found out the two consistent attendees were barely toddlers. I wanted to teach, had a lesson prepared, and worried that these two were too young to learn. But this Sunday was Easter, and I noticed a few things: First, the parents had a place to send their kids, so it was a blessing to them to sit in the service, kid-free. Second, the other teachers got to experience the Easter service with their families while I served in the class. Third, the few little things we did with music and eggs thrilled the kids, and their smiles were beautiful. Fourth, I experienced the blessing of seeing my youth helpers rise to the occasion and meet the needs we had during class. These revelations brought me joy.

Giving should be from the heart. We should not give grudgingly or out of compulsion. We should give cheerfully because in giving we receive.

When was the last time you gave a gift, whether it was time, talent, service, or a physical item? Did you give grudgingly or out of compulsion? Or did you give cheerfully from your heart? Do you remember the feeling when you saw how the gift was received? Do you need to rethink gift-giving or continue giving from the heart?